Dancing in the Dark with a Stranger
by CyberMum
Summary: We'll never see this particular epilogue to "Equinox"... but we can always imagine. Paramount owns them... I'm just


Dancing in the Dark With a Stranger

**DANCING IN THE DARK WITH A STRANGER**

  
_We'll never see this particular epilogue to "Equinox"... but we can always imagine. Paramount owns them... I'm just trying to help them out._

  
**Dancing in the Dark With a Stranger  
by Cybermum**

  
Sandrine's was full when Chakotay finally arrived on the holodeck. It had been another long day. No one had officially decided there was to be a gathering, but if the crowd was any indication, the crew had felt the need to be together again this evening and most of those who were able had managed to get there. He was pleased. Voyager had survived many close encounters over the years. But this latest episode was going to be harder to forget than most. The destruction of the Equinox had not been easy to watch. The initial excitement of meeting another ship and crew from the Alpha Quadrant had quickly given way to dismay as they all realized just what the Equinox, her captain and her company had become. When he factored in the added pressure of being under constant attack by aliens, the need for round the clock repairs on many of their ship's major systems as a result of those attacks, and the addition to their crew of members of the same ship that had tried to destroy them, he was truly amazed by their resiliency. He wasn't sure how many of them were aware of their own captain's descent into. well he didn't want to think about that now. Tonight he was going to dwell on the positive.   
  
He wove his way through the room, stopping to chat several times along the way. The Doctor was playing the piano and Harry Kim had joined him on the clarinet. Their music was slow and inviting. The dance floor was full. Most of the crew was were dressed in 'civvies'. He himself had thrown on a pair of casual black slacks and a favourite old black sweater. It was as if they all wanted to forget that they were crew for a while. This was just a gathering of friends. The atmosphere in the room was …Chakotay thought about it for a moment. The atmosphere was comfortable.   
  
He spotted Tom and B'Elanna at a small table on the far side of the room. They were deeply engrossed in conversation and he didn't want to intrude. But B'Elanna looked up just as he was turning away and gestured for him to join them. He made his way to their corner and pulled an empty chair up to their table.   
  
"Hi Chakotay." B'Elanna smiled. "Drink? We're having Neelix' non-alcoholic punch, I've got an extra duty shift tonight". "Sounds just right" he said. She poured him a glass from the jug on the table and pushed it towards him.   
  
"Thanks".   
  
There was a small silence as all three of them struggled with their thoughts. "She's not coming?" B'Elanna's words were more of a statement than a question. And there was no need to explain who 'she' was.   
  
"I didn't ask her. I haven't spoken to her since Neelix' get together last week."   
  
"Chakotay..."   
  
"Leave it Tom." Chakotay's voice took on a harder edge.   
  
"But" Tom stopped as B'Elanna gave him a quick jab with her elbow. "Wanna dance, B'El?" He grinned at her, deliberately charming, and she decided to succumb. "Sure. See you later, Chakotay".   
  
He watched them head out to the dance floor, hand in hand, so obviously together. They too stopped to greet comrades as they made their way across the room, and Chakotay couldn't help but remember the two of them as they had been when they first came aboard Voyager. "There *is* much that is good here" he told himself.   
  


* * *

  
  
The party, if that's what it was, ended gradually. Chakotay remained in his corner, long after Tom and B'Elanna had left, nursing his drink. Several times throughout the evening he had been joined by various crewmembers, but he was quite content to remain on his own, watching the activity around him.   
  
When he heard the whoosh of the holodeck doors he didn't look up immediately. He was enjoying the music. Harry and the Doctor had left long ago, and had programmed an excellent jazz trio in their place. Chakotay had added several of his own favourites to their repertoire, and they were doing a wonderful job with them. Almost everyone had left and Sandrine herself was closing down the bar for the evening. It was only when he heard Sandrine address her that he realized who had come in.   
  
"What can I get for you, Captain?" the bartender asked. "Something different tonight? An Irish coffee, perhaps?"   
  
"An Irish coffee would be wonderful. Thank you. Was there a large crowd here tonight?" She asked.   
  
"Ah yes, Captain. A good number. I have done well this evening."   
  
Janeway nodded and smiled. "The music. I like the music."   
  
"Yes. It is . comforting, is it not?"   
  
Chakotay realized that Kathryn had not seen him. His table was far into the corner, and the dim lighting in the bar kept him hidden from her. He also began to think that this visit, after everyone had left, was not a first. Her next words confirmed this.   
  
"How were they tonight, Sandrine? Did they seem a bit happier?"   
  
"Each time is a bit better." Sandrine handed Kathryn her drink. "They are recovering I believe, Captain."   
  
"They are a fine crew."   
  
"And they need their Captain."   
  
"They have their Captain, Sandrine."   
  
"I think not."   
  
Janeway was silent. She took a sip of her drink and set it down on the counter, about to speak. But Sandrine continued before she could gather her thoughts.   
  
"Oh - they have someone who sits in the Captain's chair on the bridge, and gives the orders and files the reports and writes the logs" Sandrine continued. "But they don't have their Captain." She emphasized the title. "She is..." The barkeeper searched for the words "I believe she is lost."   
  
Chakotay saw Kathryn stiffen and begin to react to Sandrine's statement. And then he watched as she slumped back onto her barstool. It was the total resignation of her reaction that drove him to his feet and towards her before he could stop himself.   
  
She startled at his approach and he wasn't sure whether it was the shock of seeing him or seeing anyone at all that had caused her response. "Hello Kathryn" he said. "May I join you?" He sat down beside her before she could reply, and said to Sandrine "I'll have one of those too, please."   
  
"Chakotay...I.. how are you?"   
  
He smiled. Quick recovery, he thought. Well done. "I'm fine. And how are you?"   
  
She ignored his question. "Have you been here long?"   
  
"Long enough." He paused and looked at her carefully. There were dark circles under her eyes. Her skin, pale at the best of times, looked pasty against the cranberry and black of her uniform. Even her hair was lank and lifeless.   
  
He smiled at Sandrine as she handed him his drink. "I've been here long enough" he repeated, as he turned the glass of warm liquid slowly between his hands. He lifted it to his lips and sipped. "Mmmm, very nice Sandrine, thank you."   
  
"I don't think so, Kathryn. I don't think you're fine at all. To come here after every night, after everyone has left."   
  
"I don't..."   
  
He ignored her protest and continued. "You do. And Sandrine is right and you know it." He watched the bartender as she continued her chores at the far end of the room. "They need their Captain. And don't give me that crap about 'they have their Captain'."   
  
Her head snapped up in shock. "How dare you."   
  
"You're afraid of them, aren't you Kathryn? Why?   
  
She opened her mouth to respond and again he wouldn't let her.   
  
I'll tell you why" he continued, in answer to his own question. "Because you're afraid they'll catch on to your little secret. You are afraid that they will figure out that their Captain" he emphasized the word "is also human. That she can screw up. She can make mistakes. That she can..."   
  
This time she did succeed in stopping him. She laughed. Or at least it sounded like a laugh. Until he noticed the tear that was tracing a path down her cheek.   
  
"You've made your point Chakotay." Her voice was shaky. "And you're not telling me anything that I haven't already told myself. But..."   
  
"But what? Are you going to try to tell me that you aren't allowed to make mistakes? That if you do the crew will mutiny? That they'll all get off the ship and find another way home? Come on, Kathryn."   
  
She took a deep breath. "I became him, Chakotay. I became Ransom. I betrayed my principles and my training. I betrayed Star Fleet. And I endangered my crew. For the sake of..."   
  
"Revenge" he finished. "You are human, Kathryn Janeway and it finally caught up with you. I know you well, my Captain." He smiled at her and watched another tear follow the first. It took a great effort on his part not to wipe it away.   
  
"You know sometimes I think I don't like you any more. I don't like what you've become. But then I realize how much we all have changed out here. Some of us for better, not many of us for worse. And you have changed too. You've had to. You've done things that you never wanted to do. Made decisions that you and no one else has had to make. And " he stopped for a beat to marshall his thoughts "and I understand it's those things that you have done, those actions and decisions that were necessary to ensure our survival, which I don't like. And I think that I probably have made those same decisions, and taken the same actions. And I know, Kathryn, I know that I would have wanted to find Ransom and punish him for what he was doing. And it would not have been wrong."   
  
"But I put my feelings ahead of the safety of my crew."   
  
"You did. And that *was* wrong. Terribly wrong."   
  
She nodded and brushed away the tear herself.   
  
"But Kathryn, did you notice that not once did the crew question your orders?"   
  
"You did." She stated matter of factly. "And you were right."   
  
"Of course I did. It's my job. And I *was* right." He grinned at her.   
  
"But they followed their Captain. Because they trust her judgement. And because they know that in the end she will never let them down." He paused. "And they know that she's going to get them home."   
  
She stared at him intensely, her eyes full of unshed tears. He saw that she was searching for the truth in his words, and gazed back at her, studying in turn. She swallowed and reached out to touch his hand.   
  
"Thank you." A whisper.   
  
He nodded and looked up. They were alone in the bar except for the musicians who continued to play softly. He slid slowly off his stool and gestured for her to follow.   
  
"Dance with me."   
  
"I ..."   
  
He took her hand and led her to the centre of the deserted dance floor. She stood in front of him, obviously hesitant, but he drew her into his arms gently and as naturally as if they had done this many times before. He felt her stiffen and he began to sway to the music.   
  
"It's beautiful music, Kathryn, enjoy it."   
  
He felt, rather than heard her sigh and his arms tightened around her just a bit.   
  
"Yes" she replied, and looked up at him. "They are very good." She settled into his arms and relaxed slightly. "This is very nice.. the music, I mean."   
  
He grinned into her hair. "It is."   
  
"Are you here every night?"   
  
"Most."   
  
"Do you think they would mind.. would you..?"   
  
He stopped for a moment and held her away from him slightly.   
  
"They miss you Kathryn. We've all missed you. They need their Captain here with them. And I need my best friend."   
  
She moved forward then, back into his arms and he felt her body relax against his. She began to move with him to the music and he thought he even heard her begin to hum.   
  
"Welcome back stranger" he whispered, and he knew he felt her smile. 

  


  
[Return to Cybermum's Stories][1]

  


   [1]: /getcritical/cruisedirectr/cybermum.htm



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